It’s February and love is in the air! But who is that love directed to? It is wonderful to give love to another, to be in love with another, but how often do we think about giving love to ourselves? How often do we think about falling in love with the person you see in the mirror day after day? I’m not talking simply about liking or loving yourself, I’m speaking of BEING IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF! FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL BEING THAT IS YOU! I’m also talking about showing yourself love by performing actual acts of love towards yourself. If you are rolling your eyes already and saying to yourself how ridiculously cheesy and corny this sounds….keep reading!
There are many of us who like ourselves just fine and even those of us who LOVE who we are and who are completely comfortable in our own skin. But how do we show ourselves love on a regular basis! I’m the first to tell you that while I completely love who I am and am comfortable in my skin, I don’t always take the time to LOVE on myself like I would like. I --- like so many others I know, coach, and treat --- let life get in the way. Well, I invite you to step up your level of accountability (with me) and try these three ways of giving love to yourself on a weekly basis:
- Take care of the basics- Eat, Sleep, Hydrate, Move….
This may sound extremely basic, but it’s amazing how many people out there do not even have a handle on the basic self-care activities in life. There is a saying that when you are feeling irritable and unreasonable, HALT! That means check to see if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. We are coving a few of these in this first step, and will touch on the others later in the article. Firstly EAT! When life gets busy, we tend to let the diet slide, eat more junk, and even sometimes skip meals altogether. When you are eating erratically or not eating at all, the metabolism be pulled out of whack leaving you feeling fatigued, achy, irritable, and more likely to crave more of the not so healthy foods. The second basic self care move is to GET SUFFICIENT SLEEP! The average person require 6-8 hours of sleep each night for the body to feel refreshed for the next day. Sleep is a time for the body to repair and rejuvenate the cells. When you are deprived of sleep over a long period of time, the blood pressure can become high, your mental faculties become compromised (forgetfulness, irritability, emotional instability), and you can even experience physical pain (migraines, body aches,). Rest (as a variant of sleep) can be just as important sleep. Just laying down for an hour can be as rejuvenating as getting a quick nap. HYDRATE! Your body is ~90% water, and so to keep yourself hydrated is pivotal in keeping the cells functioning properly. Drink 64 ounces of water daily unless you have a condition that requires water restriction (i.e. congestive heart failure or chronic kidney disease). Finally, MOVE your body! We are constantly in motion whether we realize it or not. The body needs and desires movement. Sedentary lifestyle can lead to muscle wasting, fat accumulation, and even decreased mobility all around. However, when you make a point to exercise or include physical activity of some sort in your life daily, you will see more energy, tone, and even mood elevation from the recurrent release of endorphins that occurs when you really get the heart rate up for longer than 20 minutes.
- Get to Know The Good in You.
How often has someone given you a compliment and you’ve responded by downplaying it by saying something like “Oh, it wasn’t a big deal” or deflecting by saying “Oh but you really did all of the work” instead of just accepting the acknowledgement and saying “Thank you”. Part of our unconscious conversation about who we are or who we are not can reflect in our outward world. In fact, when we are having the unconscious conversation about “not being good enough” , “not being smart enough”, “not being loveable or wanted” it directly affects our sense of self esteem, our emotional well-being, and can affect our decision making process (especially in relation to taking care of the basics). A great exercise (and this week’s double dare challenge) is to write 30 things you like about yourself. Spare no detail, as even the smallest thing counts! Another great exercise is to write 30 compliments that you have received from other people throughout life. Through the combination of these exercises, you truly get to see who you really are through your eyes and the eyes of others.
- Connect with Others
Remember, earlier in the article we mentioned the acronym HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. We are social beings by nature, and when we isolate ourselves from friends, family, and people we love (and whom love us) we are depriving ourselves of love that we deserve. There are numerous studies that correlate human connection with overall well-being. Human connection has been shown to improve outcomes after heart attack, stroke, and even improve cancer treatment outcomes. Connecting with others is allowing ourselves to be loved by others. Allowing ourselves to be loved is a way of showing ourselves love. Make your connections with others loving and fun! Schedule a game night, or a pamper day. Have a girls or guys night out, or a potluck dinner party. Spend a romantic evening in with your loved one watching movies or take a night out on the town dancing. Go to the park with your family, children, nieces, nephews…plan a family reunion! Whatever the activity, allow the love to infuse your life as you allow yourself to be connected to and loved by others.
In the month of February, we are focusing on developing a daily practice of LOVE in our lives. This includes being loving to ourselves as well as appreciating and being loving towards others.
THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE: Create a loving affirmation for the self and say it every day. An affirmation is a positive statement in the present tense affirming something that you are striving for or moving towards. For example: “I am happily enjoying my beautiful body at 125 lbs” – or “I am excited to be financially free!”. An example of an affirmation of self love is “I am complete, whole, perfect, and beautiful” or “I am a child of God, and a person of worth”. Create your affirmation, write it down, post it up, place it somewhere that you will see it and remember to repeat it at least once daily. Post your experience my facebook or twitter page or email drlife@mbswellness.org. I acknowledge you for being willing to take on new challenges and ways of being in 2012! God Bless!
Join the challenge! Visit www.drmaiysha.com daily and connect with us through Facebook and Twitter for daily inspirations and dialogue about your and others successes and challenges each week.
Maiysha Clairborne MD
Copyright 2/05/12
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